


the rush of blood colouring me pink

by sunkissedworld



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Universe, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Injury, Injury Recovery, Light Angst, Living Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Polyamory, Post-Time Skip, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26984227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkissedworld/pseuds/sunkissedworld
Summary: Bokuto is nice. Bokuto is easy to like. There is no reason for Osamu to harbour negative feelings towards him and right now…Bokuto needs a friend. If his brother thinks that friend can be Osamu, then so be it. Osamu could do this. He shouldn’t be doing this, his mind once again whispers as thoughts of how all this could go wrong loom in the back of his head.Maybe Osamu should have let his mind explore those possibilities. Maybe then he wouldn’t have ended with a shattered heart; broken in half by one and rendered to pieces by another.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Miya Osamu, Akaashi Keiji/Miya Osamu, Bokuto Koutarou/Miya Osamu
Comments: 34
Kudos: 176
Collections: maazesfini





	the rush of blood colouring me pink

**Author's Note:**

> This was suppose to be out for bokuosaaka week but... I suck with deadlines. Even so, I didn't want to give up on this and finally a week and a half later (?) here we are!  
> I love Bokuto so I love when anyone else loves Bokuto. This was originally just going to be bokuosa but it worked with adding Akaashi to the mix. Idk why I keep shipping all these random trios together, but alas, please enjoy!

It’s the Jackals’ third game of the season when Bokuto gets injured. It’s an unexpected and unfortunate incident, one that clearly affects the mood of the entire stadium. Osamu is watching the game from the comfort of his home, so he doesn’t doubt that even virtual spectators like him feel the weight of Bokuto’s crushed spirit loom over their shoulders.

The pressure coming into this game has been higher than any other game—it doesn’t even come close to what the mood was two seasons ago, when the Jackals made it to the finals. They already lost the first two games, though not by a lot. They seem to be having problems picking themselves up once the opposing team picks up momentum, which is expected since their defence roster has changed quite a bit.

Hinata is no longer on the team, and Barnes, alongside two other veteran players, have also packed their bags last season. Inunaki suffered from a minor injury over the international friendlies and isn’t set to return until mid season. This leaves the Jackals with two newbies fresh from university on their starting line up. They are amazing players but they are clearly still struggling to adjust to the team’s dynamics.

Even so, Osamu knew there wasn’t anything to worry about. Atsumu had called him after the last two games, a bit frustrated at the results but overall unbothered by what the people were saying. “ _We are just warming up._ ” Atsumu confidently stated, “ _We have a good team._ ” Rumours might be spreading about the Jackals’ downfall but Osamu knows they are just that; rumours.

But rumours have a way of sneaking into peoples mindsets; they have a way of creating doubt and insecurities. Osamu wonders if the rumours have somehow played a part in Bokuto’s injury. If at the moment, as Bokuto raises his hand to ask for a time out, the hitter is realizing he made a mistake due to traitorous uncertainties.

No. That doesn’t sound like Bokuto.

Perhaps it was really just an accident. Osamu watches the T.V replay in slow motion the moment Bokuto attempted to save a ball by turning his body counterclockwise, failing to move his leg completely which causes him to lose his footing and in turn, slip uncomfortably, clearly pulling a muscle as he nearly does the splits. That happened three rallies ago. One of the Jackals’ athletic trainers had taken a look at it and had cleared Bokuto after a short five minute break. Bokuto continued to play and now, it seems like the pain he thought he could bear is too much.

The T.V repeats Bokuto’s slip three more times, from different angles and at different speeds, before it goes back to the live game and the camera focuses on Bokuto’s retreating back as he is escorted out the stadium by a medic and an athletic trainer. Bokuto has an arm over his trainer’s shoulders while he limps away, his other hand holding his shirt in place as he hides his face in it.

The camera then shows the concerned faces of all the players on the court, from both the Jackals and the Falcons. It’s not long before the commentators are talking about the national team and their upcoming matches. The camera focuses on Aran and Hakuba a few times but it always seems to travel back to his brother’s now twisted expression.

The Jackals lose. When Osamu calls his brother after not receiving a call from him hours after the match has ended, Atsumu doesn’t pick up.

It’s then that Osamu starts to feel the extent to Bokuto’s injury. It’s then that he starts to consider what it all ultimately means. In a single day he puts things into perspective; how someone’s life can easily affect others around him. Then, two days later, Keiji calls him and Osamu’s mind floods with similar thoughts, though this time he doesn't think about what Bokuto’s injury means to his brother, to his team, to Japan, to the world— he thinks about what it could mean to Keiji.

Keiji calls to talk about his mothers upcoming birthday and how he wants to cook her a homemade meal. He asks for advice on food prep and lets Osamu give him a list of many useful tips. Then the conversation turns to how Osamu’s business is going and how much work Keiji has pilled up due to his procrastinating habits. They then talk about other mindless things while Osamu tries to come up with a way to bring up Bokuto’s injury.

There is a part of him that doesn’t want to bring it up, specially since Keiji himself wont bring it up. That part rejoices over that fact. It clings to hope and other foolish feelings as it considers what it all must mean. That even with something so serious, Keiji wont cave. Keiji wont talk about Bokuto _. Keiji doesn't care._ So why should Osamu bring it up? Why lure Keiji into the topic? Why give him a reason to think of the other man?

Osamu wishes he was a little more selfish and a lot more foolish. He wishes he could live in ignorance. But no matter what that part of him considers, no matter what ideas and assumptions it tries to pass along as truth, deep down, Osamu knows Keiji is already thinking about it— thinking about _him_. It’s better if Osamu brings it up, at least this way he will _know—_ regardless of what that knowledge might do to him. 

He asks and Keiji goes silent for a second before saying; “It’s unfortunate.”

Osamu doesn’t know what to say to that. He wants to pry, he wants to ask more. He wants Keiji to open up so he can read his emotions; read whatever it is he is trying to hide. But like it usually goes when it comes to Bokuto—unless they are drinking and Keiji is so upset, so angry that he can’t do anything but rant—Keiji closes up.

He starts giving one worded answers and he lets all the topics that are being brought up, drop. His mind is probably far from their conversation, so it’s no surprise that he is bidding him farewell before Osamu can think of a way to capture his attention once again. “I’ll come see you soon, Miya-san.” He says.

“It’s Osamu.” Osamu remarks like he usually does, one hand gripping the phone against his ear while the other rests loosely by his side. Keiji chuckles before he hangs up. The smile that forms itself on Osamu’s face feels bittersweet.

He spends the rest of the day tormenting himself with thoughts about Keiji. He thinks about his clipped tone when referring to Bokuto’s injury as _unfortunate_ and about his refusal to offer anything else when it comes to the man he once could have easily called his best friend.

But at the moment, Bokuto Koutarou is not Keiji’s best friend. On a good day, he is _Bokuto-san_. On a bad day, it varies from _the_ _spiker_ to _number seventeen_. Whatever name Keiji decides to use, Osamu never comments. He just keep a mental note for later; for when he feels cruel enough to entertain possibilities that don’t hold any logic.

At times, when Keiji is vulnerable—when the restaurant they picked offers them a small table, far from every one else, cozy enough for them to find comfort in the warmth of the atmosphere; when the meal they shared fills them with a satisfaction they seem to be the only ones that understand; when the alcohol they ordered proves to be too much, heating their bodies and loosening their tongues—he expresses words and emotions that reassure Osamu that the feelings he has stubbornly decided to hold on to, aren’t pointless.

At times, Osamu thinks Keiji might be moving on.

But Osamu is not an idiot. Well… he _is,_ but not to the extent of risking it all for those little signs. Not to the extent of risking making a move while there is a possibility that he could be entirely wrong. It’s not his own heart that concern him, but rather the situation he would put Keiji in if he were to hand over his heart when Keiji still craves to hold someone else’s heart.

Specially when that someone is Bokuto Koutarou.

'Bokkun’, his brother calls him. ‘Japan’s ace’ is another term that easily follows him. Osamu has heard other forms of endearment come from fans and spectators when he plays a game in his restaurant—Kou, Bo, Beam. They are all too cheesy but they seem to hold the same reminder. Bokuto is someone liked— _loved_ , even.

Osamu doesn't know a single person that has anything bad to say about him. In fact, the people Osamu holds in the highest regards tend to have nothing but praises for the spiker. Aran admires him while his own flesh and blood probably loves him as much as he loves his other close friends and teammates. Though when Atsumu talks about Bokuto, there is something else. Something that hurts Osamu’s heart a little more, something that stands as another reason for his dislike of Bokuto.

 _Bro,_ Bokuto once called Atsumu and his twin had beamed, allowing Bokuto to embrace him tightly as they drunkly continued to celebrate their victory in Osamu’s own restaurant. Osamu is aware that ‘bro’ is a friendly term that shouldn’t mean anything other than a close friendship, trust, fondness, etc. But Osamu can still remember the tight press against his chest as the word echoed in his head. No one could ever take Atsumu’s place, of that Osamu is sure. Their bond can never be severed. He knows Atsumu feels the same way yet… _bro,_ Atsumu mumbled while engulfed in Bokuto’s arms.

Osamu wishes he could push aside his irrational jealousy but it all just seems to add up. First, he is jealous of Bokuto because he is the only thing Keiji’s eyes seem to see and now he is jealous of Bokuto because Atsumu can easily fit in his hold as they share one of their happiest moments together.

He holds negative emotions for a person who has never done anything foul against him. He feels so ridiculously childish, his own emotions and feelings towards Bokuto dampen his general mood every time he thinks about it. Bokuto who’s always complimenting Osamu, always saying the nicest things. He is always smiling and enthusiastically greeting him. _Myaa-sam_ he cheers and beams, eating Osamu’s food to the last grain of rice with a grin so wide Osamu can’t help but accept the warmth it gives. 

Maybe the absence of that smile is the reason behind Osamu’s slight stumble that evening.

One moment Osamu is cleaning up a table, trying to balance a tray of dirty dishes with his arm and hip, and the next he hears the bell of his restaurant ding and he is turning around, ready to tell the customer he is closed for the day when his eyes catch sight of familiar hair in an unfamiliar style, an uneasy lip tilt, and sheepish eyes that don’t seem well rested as they lock with his own.

Osamu blinks, shocked, and turns, nearly dropping the tray as his mind tries to make sense of what his eyes see. “Bo-Bokuto?” Osamu asks, his eyes travelling from Bokuto’s eyes, to his bandaged leg, to his hair covering his forehead, to the bag he carries over his shoulders.

“Miya-san.” Bokuto greets.

Osamu doesn't like the sound of his family name being used by someone who’s always called him anything but that. Osamu opens his mouth and quickly shuts it once he realizes he doesn’t know what to say. Even though the question _what are you doing here_ floats in his head.

“None of that.” He hears the voice of his brother before he actually sees him enter the restaurant. Osamu blinks once again, instantly thinking of the date and concluding that the Jackals have a game tomorrow night, on the other side of the country. His brother should not be here. “Ya don’t need to butter him up. Hey Samu, why are you closed?”

 _Butter me up?_ “I have someone scheduled to clean the floors and windows so I closed early.” Osamu sets the tray down on the table and crosses his arms. “What are ya doin' here?”

His brother struts in the restaurant, his hand carrying a bag over his shoulder. His hair is messy and he is wearing sunglasses even though the sun has almost set and is being covered by a heavy amount of clouds. He is careful in avoiding hitting Bokuto as he makes his way past him, and once again Osamu’s eyes travel to Bokuto’s leg before the loud sound of Atsumu throwing the bag he carries on the floor catches his attention.

“Still got that guest room available?” His brother asks, lifting up his sunglasses so that they rest on his head. “Bokkun needs it for a few weeks.”

“What?” Osamu utters, completely caught of guard.

“It’s been _crazy_.” Atsumu whines. “The amount of people— I don’t even wanna think ‘bout it! Its unbearable. Though with the next three games being away, Bokkun’s gonna have to deal with it all by himself. He needs to be away from all the drama, ya know?”

Osamu does in fact, not know. What is his brother talking about? He asks and this time he gets an explanation from Bokuto, who still hasn’t offered his usual wide grin. “There is a lot of reporters around the dorms. And fans. And people in general… it’s a lot? They mean well but—”

“They're annoying.” Atsumu cuts in, forcing Osamu to put his attention back on his brother. He is thankful for that since the current sight of Bokuto is unsettling. “Coach recommended he go home but his family is currently renovating their house and his friends are stuck in the sad reality of studio-room apartments.”

Oh. _Oh._

“So what yer sayin—”

“Since ya owe me a favour, I figured this was the best solution."

“I don’t owe you anything.” Osamu says but his brother is giving him a pointed look, his hooded eyes resting on his face with clear accusations. Osamu thinks and thinks and nearly lets his mouth drop when he realizes what Atsumu is referring to and thats—

His brother is a fucking asshole.

Osamu shuts his mouth, hating the sight of the victorious grin his brother wears. “Great.” He chirps before grabbing the bag on the floor and snatching the bag Bokuto holds. “I’ll take these up.” Atsumu doesn’t wait for a response before he is heading towards the back door that leads to a hallway that stretches out before the door to the second floor is found. Osamu has always found having his apartment above his restaurant a very convenient thing but now… now he curses himself and his stupid twin and the fact that they have some stupid connection thats allows Atsumu to read him like an open book enough to blackmail him into, into…

“Miya-san.” Bokuto says the moment Atsumu is out of earshot. “I can go, if you want me to.”

Once again, Osamu is thrown off by Bokuto Koutarou. Osamu tries to think back to all the times he has interacted with him, trying to find a hint that the tone Bokuto uses, the look he wears…its normal, right? It shouldn't sound so disheartening, right?

Osamu almost takes him up on the offer. He meets Bokuto’s unblinking eyes and thinks _there must be a better option_. His mind then reminds Osamu that Keiji has a two bedroom apartment. He then wonders if Bokuto even considered him. Does he even want to be here right now?

_Bokuto would never do something he doesn’t want to do._

That thought surprises Osamu more than anything else from this evening. The way it sneaks up on him and settles in his mind with unshakable resolve. Osamu swallows. “It’s Osamu.” He remarks, attempting a relaxed smile as he adds; “It’s no problem, Bokuto.”

-o-

The thing is: Keiji is in love with Bokuto. (He hasn’t voiced those feelings, but… Osamu is not an idiot. He can read between the lines.) Now though, Keiji and Bokuto are not talking, at least not since the fight that went down six months ago.

From what Osamu understands, Keiji finally figured out what the butterflies that manifest themselves in his stomach every time he is around Bokuto mean. ( _“I…realized a few things.”_ Akaashi had said.) It terrified him to the point of being incapable of facing Bokuto. (“ _I needed some space.”_ ) That in turn upset Bokuto and brought forward _the_ confrontation. ( _“He got upset… he started saying ridiculous things.”_ ) Keiji tried to blame his distance on their different life choices and Bokuto had understood that maintaining a friendship with him was a burden for Keiji. ( _“He couldn’t understand my reasoning and I couldn’t… it’s better this way.”_ ) Keiji never corrected him and so they stoped all communication.

In addition: Osamu is a fool because in all this, he found the time to let the feelings he holds for Keiji grow.

Keiji came to him clearly upset over possibly losing a friend (the love of his life) and Osamu did nothing but listen and hope that this outcome could benefit him in the long run. He rejoiced over the fact that Keiji trusted _him_ with his sorrow (even though he knows a lot of Keiji’s friends are also Bokuto’s friends so he can see why he never approached them). He embraced any attention Keiji would give him now that he was avoiding the only other person his attention always fell on.He took everything and anything Keiji gave him, no matter how little, and stored it in his heart where his affection grew.

In conclusion: Osamu has strong feelings for Keiji while Keiji is in love with Bokuto.

…and now Osamu is living with Bokuto.

Honestly, Osamu shouldn’t have accepted Bokuto into his home. He shouldn’t have ignored all reasons and allowed Atsumu to blackmail him into this.

 _“Please.”_ Atsumu had said after he helped Bokuto up the stairs to Osamu’s apartment, only returning downstairs once he made sure Bokuto was comfortable and at ease in his new room. Osamu had glared at his brother as he followed him outside his restaurant. He was ready to yell at him, to voice his hatred and to maybe hit him a few times but he was caught of guard, once again, by the sight of Sakusa waiting for his brother as he leaned against his car.

Osamu had kept his mouth shut as Atsumu explained in full detail the situation. _“They wont leave him alone. Everyone is actin’ like this is some life-ending injury— it’s just a pulled muscle. It’s going to take six weeks to fully heal. He was miserable and… I don’t think Tokyo is the right place for him right now.”_

 _“Why here?”_ Osamu still wanted to know. _Why me?_ Surely someone thats so loved—

_“Cuz I trust ya. We trust ya. He needs… a distraction.”_

_“Tsumu.”_ Osamu had groaned, his eyes travelling over to Sakusa for a second as he considered wether or not he should say the next bit out loud. Sakusa Kiyoomi is a strange individual. He spends a lot of time scowling and frowning and he would rather do a million laps around the court than spend more than the necessary time around people. Yet he is there, looking as concerned as Atsumu, hours before they have to play a match in a place thats eight hours away. _“I don’t know what you want from me when…”_ _I don’t like him,_ he hadn't said but he knows Atsumu knows because thats just how it is.

 _“Bokkun likes ya.”_ Atsumu said as if that explanation could ever be enough to calm the turmoil happening inside Osamu’s head. _“Just… look after him, yeah?”_

How can his brother be so kind and so cruel at the same time?

Osamu shouldn’t have agreed to this, but he did. He let the words of his brother bring out the guilt that was lingering in the back of Osamu’s mind and he bid Bokuto’s two team-mates farewell with a tight smile and a heavy heart. There is a part of him that knows refusing to house Bokuto could have cost more problems than necessary since what other reason does Osamu have than; _I don’t like you because the guy I like, loves you?_ He sure as hell wasn’t going to admit that and besides…

Bokuto is nice. Bokuto is easy to like. There is no reason for Osamu to harbour negative feelings towards him and right now…Bokuto needs a friend. If his brother thinks that friend can be Osamu, then so be it. Osamu could do this. _He shouldn’t be doing this,_ his mind once again whispers as thoughts of how all this could go wrong loom in the back of his head. 

Maybe Osamu should have let his mind explore those possibilities. Maybe then he wouldn’t have ended with a shattered heart; broken in half by one and rendered to pieces by another.

-o-

Bokuto, thankfully, smiles the day after his arrival.

Osamu wakes up to the sound of the microwave going off and is met with the sight of Bokuto drinking a glass of milk by the time he makes it to his kitchen. It’s around seven in the morning but Bokuto is already dressed up, his hair back to his usual spiked style while he wears a simple hoodie and shorts. Osamu raises an eyebrow and Bokuto meets his eyes, his lips moving to rest on an expression Osamu is accustomed to.

“Myaa-sam.” Bokuto greets and Osamu feels the air get lighter at the sound of his usual nickname rather than the formal and robotic _Miya-san_ from yesterday. “I thought of making us some breakfast but Tsum-Tsum gave me a list and— is it true you hate when people cook in your kitchen?”

“I hate when Atsumu breathes anywhere near my kitchen, not people.” Osamu corrects. “Can ya cook?” He then asks because he wont lie and say that it’s okay for Bokuto to use the kitchen if he is going to destroy it.

“Of course!” Bokuto replies brightly. “So is it okay if I use the kitchen?”

Osamu nods, yawning as he stretches while Bokuto’s earlier words finally register in his head. “Tsumu gave you a list?”

Bokuto blinks at him before he is pulling out his phone, tapping a few times on the screen, and turning it around for Osamu to look at. Osamu can’t help the frown that forms on his face the moment his eyes lie on the title of the google document Bokuto is showing him; _‘how to conquer the beast (what NOT to do so Samu doesn’t kick you to the curve)’._ Osamu sighs, extending his hand for the phone, which Bokuto hands over.

He scrolls through the whole lists while his mind comes up with a million ways to murder his brother. Sure enough, there is a highlighted point that states: _‘don’t enter his kitchen, he’ll spit in your food’_ and below it _‘don’t touch anything in his kitchen, he’ll spend hours disinfecting everything you touched and forget to feed you’_ , and below that, _‘don’t even think about cooking, he’ll see it in your eyes and cook your least favourite dish out of spite’_. Though those are definitely not the most ridiculous points. _‘Don’t use his cologne, he’ll kick you’, ‘don’t grab any of his black clothes, he'll wear your underwear’, don’t eat from his plate, he’ll stab you with a fork, ‘don’t go through his manga collection, he’ll spray vinegar in your eyes’._

“Bokuto.” Osamu starts with the little bit of patience he has left. “Please delete this document and never talk to my brother again.” Osamu feels his eye twitch as he scrolls back to the top before handing Bokuto back his phone. When he does, he locks eyes with Bokuto and almost jolts back at the focus in them.

“You two really need to sort out some issues.” Bokuto says, his lip titled up in a teasing smirk. “Did you really use his underwear when he stole your black shirt?” Osamu is left wordless for a second, his mind quickly confirming that apparently Bokuto is not as dense as he thought he was and does in fact know that this list Atsumu gave him if just a rant about all the things he has done that have angered Osamu to the point of petty revenge. Then his mind can’t help but point out that Bokuto is teasing him about it.

For a second, Osamu thinks he is going to blush. He feels a bit of heat travelling to his face and— no. Oh no. He doesn’t know why the thought of blushing in front of Bokuto freaks him out so much but it does and Osamu soon realizes he would rather die than have Bokuto’s golden eyes take in the sight of his pink cheeks.

He clears his throat, turning away as he waves a hand dismissively towards Bokuto’s way. “He’s done worse than that.” Osamu hears Bokuto chuckle as he makes himself busy setting up the kettle for some tea.

Thankfully Bokuto doesn’t say anything else. Osamu goes on to make some tea before he pulls out a pan and offers Bokuto some eggs for breakfast. Bokuto agrees and tells Osamu that he will eat anything Osamu ever makes, so he doesn’t have to ask. Osamu cooks with a small smile on his face, the stupid list his brother made long forgotten (as well as Bokuto’s teasing), while he takes in the bit of sun that sneaks through the window, warming up his body.

Over all, it’s a good morning.

-o-

The rest of the day, not so much.

One of his servers called in sick for the day and since it’s a weekday, Osamu didn’t think he would need to find someone to cover her shift. Yet for some reason the restaurant is busier than usual. The six tables his restaurant has to offer have been occupied since two and there has been an abnormal amount of take-out orders since noon. Thankfully most orders are small and Osamu, alongside another cook, have no problem keeping up with the orders.

The problem is the dinning area. The server that is currently working leaves two hours before closing which means Osamu is going to have to cover serving for the last two hours or close up the dinning area. Taking in mind the close from yesterday, it’s probably not a good idea to close again before the scheduled time.

It’s tiresome and completely draining, but he does it. Thankfully the other cook is willing to help out and as they work quickly and effectively, preventing any mishaps, they manage to get through the unusual busy day.

Osamu doesn’t even waste a second to think about what could have caused the rush, the moment he locks the doors and bids the cook goodbye, he is mindlessly reaching for his phone and dialling a familiar number.

Keiji picks up after three rings. “Miya-san.” He greets.

“It’s Osamu.” Osamu naturally remarks before he tells Keiji all about his day. He holds the phone with one hand while he walks around his kitchen, picking up any garbage he sees as he gathers the remaining plates that need to be washed in the sink. Keiji for his part hums and occasionally voices little sounds that tell Osamu he is listening to his rambling.

When Osamu mentions being surprised by the amount of clients he received today, Keiji nonchalantly mentions how its not at all surprising but rather expected since his onigiri is the best in the area. He then reminds Osamu that the restaurants he opened in both Tokyo and Miyagi are usually busier than the one he has in Hyogo, so he shouldn’t be complaining since he has it easy.

Keiji’s teasing which he often welcomes with an open heart feels like a splash of cold water to the face.

Osamu momentarily freezes as his mind visualizes focused golden eyes. The reminder of Bokuto currently living in his apartment, here in Hyogo, has his stomach twisting as he feels the guilt of keeping this specific information from Keiji. ( _Would he care? Should I tell him? Does it matter?_ ) He stumbles over his response to Keiji and swallows the lump that forms in his throat before he is making excuses to hang up the phone. Keiji doesn't seem bothered and instead just orders Osamu to get some rest before he is bidding his usual farewell; “I’ll come see you soon, Miya-san.”

“It’s Osamu.” Osamu barely manages to choke out before he hangs up.

-o-

He met Keiji in high school, though back then Keiji was just ‘Fukurodani’s setter’. Osamu vaguely remembers the one match in his third year in which they faced Fukurodani, a powerhouse team even without Bokuto. Osamu remembers losing the first set, remembers one of the second years of Fukurodani having a killer serve that rivalled Atsumu’s. He remembers winning the next two sets and watching Atsumu shake hands with the pretty captain as he seemed completely unfazed.

Then, a few years later, he is met with that same unfazed expression in the Jackals and Adlers season opener. Osamu wont deny the small shock of electricity that rushed through his body the moment Keiji complimented his food and inquired about the possibilities of a restaurant in Tokyo. Keiji’s face didn’t show much emotion, but something in his eyes had Osamu’s undivided attention. Which is why Osamu pursued his friendship.

So Keiji went from ‘Fukurodani’s setter’ to ‘Akaashi-san’ and a few months later to Akaashi, sometimes ‘Kaashi. Over the years they just kept seeing each other, first just in the occasional Jackal’s game and then in little outings whenever they had time. Keiji always supported Osamu’s business. He would try to visit every pop up store Osamu opened and was even there for the opening of his Miyagi and Tokyo restaurants.

Sometime during all that Keiji had said _“Keiji is fine”_ and Osamu remembers remarking “ _only if you call me Osamu.”_ Keiji has actually called him Osamu, but only like four times (always when his brother is around; when saying Miya-san would only complicate things). Keiji always calls him ‘Miya-san’, but it doesn’t sound the same as it did all those years ago, at least thats what Osamu tells himself. Keiji’s ‘Miya-san' is familiar, fond— _intimate._

He has ground to state that since they are friends—have been friends for a while. Thats why Osamu can easily pick up his phone and call him. Thats why Keiji can promise to visit.

That’s why he is starting to feel the guilt crawl up his body every time he looks at Bokuto.

-o-

Bokuto’s injury doesn't render him useless. He is also not limping around like Osamu imaged he would be. Bokuto usually has a brace on (if not bandages) and when he walks, he just tries to put most of his weight on his other leg. He spends most of his time in his room (Osamu’s guest room), only ever leaving the house to go on those weekly check ups and physiotherapy appointments with that doctor his trainer recommended. He takes a cab every time, refusing the rides Osamu offers. And even though his doctor himself could come see him here, Bokuto is adamant on going to the clinic himself. Osamu doesn’t really fight him on it considering it’s really the only time Bokuto gets to go outside.

But even though Bokuto never complains, Osamu is sure that being incapable of living the active lifestyle he is used to, must be driving him crazy. He occasionally works out in Osamu’s room, where he owns a barbell with a few weights and a set of dumbbells. Osamu has caught him using the dumbbells, but other than that, most of his work out consists of stretches and sit ups.

He spends a lot of time on his phone, doing god knows what. He also seems invested in a few western reality tv shows, or at least thats the only other thing he watches other than volleyball matches. Oh, and he cooks. He cooks breakfast every day and whenever Osamu is working until close, he cooks dinner.

Osamu… hasn’t really figured out how he feels about that.

Bokuto is a really good cook. He has yet to make a dish that Osamu hasn’t liked. Osamu didn’t have high expectations, specially considering he is Atsumu’s friend, and past experience has proven that any one that befriends his brother is probably a horrible cook (never mind the fact that most of Atsumu’s friends are also Osamu’s friends). But honestly, his mouth had almost dropped when he took a bite of the first dish Bokuto offered him.

The thing is, Bokuto’s food always looks messy. If he were to rate his food in regards to its presentation, Bokuto would hardly get a solid four out of ten. But what the food lacks in visual appeal, the explosion of flavour that follows every bite easily makes up for it. 

Osamu hates the satisfied smile that is forced on his face when he eats what the other cooks. He also hates the pleased grin Bokuto always shoots back at him. That and the fact that Bokuto never asks for feedback on his food. It’s like he knows it’s good and he knows Osamu thinks it’s good and he is absolutely fine with not hearing how good it is. It’s infuriating.

Yet another reason to dislike Bokuto, though this time it’s not much dislike but rather, competitive-dislike? Friendly rivalry? Jealousy? Admiration? Osamu doesn’t know.

In fact, Osamu has quickly realized how much he doesn’t know these past few days.

First, he had no idea Bokuto could cook meat perfectly every single time. He also didn’t know Bokuto was so clean and organized; he always made his bed in the morning, he always cleaned up after himself— sometimes he even cleaned up after Osamu. He didn’t like clutter and he disliked when things weren’t in their place (Osamu has caught him frowning whenever he doesn't find the T.V remote in its place and rather in whatever spot Osamu has decided to leave it by).

Bokuto is also an early riser, which is not really surprising. What does surprise Osamu is that Bokuto is so put together every morning; always showered and dressed, his body buzzing with energy while Osamu (an early bird himself) is yawning and wearing the same loose t-shirt and shorts he uses for sleep every day. Osamu is also bitter that Bokuto’s skin is always so clear even though he is sure the most he does is wash his face with soap, while Osamu has an entire ten minute routine every morning.

Bokuto is also someone that’s capable of being… _quiet_. Osamu didn’t know that. He definitely didn’t know that. In fact, if someone would have told him Bokuto can go hours without talking— he might have sent that someone straight into a mental ward because if there is anything Osamu was sure about before Bokuto came to stay with him, is that Bokuto Koutarou is loud and unafraid to let his voice be heard.

Yet Osamu has experienced Bokuto’s silence on more than one occasion. It’s not something that concerns him. It’s just… unsettling.

Specially when he is looking after his leg.

“What’s wrong?” Osamu asks one particular day when the silence in the room feels a little bit heavy. Bokuto looks up from his spot on the couch to meet Osamu’s gaze as he stands leaning against the door, a bowl of cereal in his hand.

“Myaa-sam.” Bokuto greets and Osamu takes in that even though he has been standing here for the past ten minutes, Bokuto just noticed his presence. “Uh, my doc said something about tightening the bandages…” He looks down on his leg and Osamu can’t help the smile that forms on his face when he takes in the sight of Bokuto’s pout. “But I can’t seem to get it right.”

Osamu lets his eyes run over the length of Bokuto’s leg, noticing how the bandages do seem to be a bit loose. “Why not just wear yer brace?” Bokuto’s pout stays on his face as he avoid’s Osamu’s eyes and mumbles something along the line of _‘too itchy.’_ “Ya want me to help?”

Osamu has never pulled a muscle and thankfully neither has his brother. On their third year, however, Ginjima sprained an ankle in the inter-high semi finals. Without Kita around, Osamu took it upon himself to be the responsible friend in their group, and overlooked Ginjima’s recovery. (Suna and Atsumu didn’t leave him much of a choice, with the panic look of _‘you handle this’_ they shot him when Ginjima threw himself on the floor and declared he couldn’t mummify himself.) He is confident he can do it and even more so when Bokuto looks back at him, his eyes seemingly wider than usual as he nods with excitement.

Osamu puts his bowl down on the side table and gets on his knees in front of Bokuto after grabbing the new roll of gauze. He works in silence because Bokuto, as Osamu has now come to understand, rather enjoys silence. He wraps the gauze around Bokuto’s muscular leg, a part of him acknowledging the nice structure of his leg or how surprisingly soft his skin is. He then also think about how Bokuto must be dealing with this emotionally and how its been a few days and Osamu has yet to ask.

He knows he is using his busy life as an excuse. He _is_ busy, but not enough for the small count of interactions with Bokuto. He is mature enough to realize that his avoidance is due to his stubborn decision to dislike Bokuto…but his maturity ends with that acknowledgement. He has every right to not want to be around someone who could easily tear his heart apart if he decides to whisk Keiji away into the sunset— even if that someone can smile with so much gratitude in his eyes that Osamu feels all oxygen vanish from his lungs.

“Thank you, Myaa-sam!”

Osamu smiles as he silently wonders to himself how much guilt he can bear.

-o-

The breaking point comes when Osamu starts noticing too many parallels between his current experiences with Bokuto and past experiences with Keiji. Osamu didn’t think he was capable of storing vivid memories (since they all centre around Keiji, it makes a _little_ sense) but with every connection, he comes to appreciate his high school slogan more and more as he mentally shouts the words at himself, pleading for this misery to end.

_Who needs memories!_

Okay… so maybe the memories aren’t the problem, (maybe he is completely changing the meaning of the slogan) maybe Osamu is really grateful for his memories with Keiji— or at least he would be if they weren’t causing him so much grief (guilt). And it’s not like he is overreacting. This is really starting to be a growing problem. Specially considering how— how— _God_ , Osamu doesn’t even know where to start.

On a single day, it goes like this:

“Myaa-sam, can we have onigiri tonight?”

Osamu is surprised by the question but he controls his emotions so he doesn’t show it. Usually whenever Bokuto wants onigiri he just goes downstairs and buys some. He hums, looking up from his phone to meet Bokuto’s awaiting gaze. “Yeah? I’ll grab some from downstairs.”

“Actually.” Bokuto cuts in, his smile warm and welcoming, reminding Osamu once again how foolish he is for the way he feels towards the athlete. “Can you… teach me?”

Osamu swallows, the words sounding familiar. His mind is already taking him back to a few years ago as he forces his body to not react to the question.

_“Teach me.” Keiji says, eyes focused on Osamu’s working hands as he shapes the rice in his hands._

_“Ya shoulda asked earlier.” Osamu teases. “This is the last one.”_

_Keiji hums. “Then make more.”_

_Osamu rolls his eyes, not surprised. “Yer gonna start putting on weight with the amount you eat.”_

_Keiji shrugs, smiling without a care. Osamu feels his heart beating hard against his chest. “It will be worth it.”_

“Yeah.” Osamu says, trying to push back the visual of Keiji’s easygoing grin. “I can teach ya.” He says and has to swallow when Bokuto grins in response.

Then later that day, when Osamu is teaching Bokuto and Bokuto is making a mess everywhere as he tries to follow Osamu’s instructions word by word—

_“Yer pressing too hard.” Osamu says, laughing at the way the rice in Keiji’s hand keeps falling apart._

_“I think it’s the rice.”_

“Myaa-sam,” Bokuto whines, the tuna filling now completely mixed in with the rice he holds in his hands. “I think something is wrong with the rice.”

“Bokuto.” Osamu deadpans. “How can there be something wrong with the rice?”

Bokuto looks at him, his head tilted to the side as he considers Osamu’s words. “Maybe Shinsuke gave you a faulty batch.” Osamu snorts, his first thought being; _Kita will kill you for saying that_ , his second; _Shinsuke!?_ “Wait!” Bokuto cries out. “Don’t tell him I said that!”

“I didn’t know you and Kita-san were close.” Osamu chooses to say, his mind still trying to comprehend the familiarity in Bokuto’s words.

“Shinsuke visits a lot.” Bokuto replies, cleaning his hands before attempting to start another rice ball. Then he stills. “I wasn’t suppose to say that.”

“Kita visits?”

“Atsumu is going to kill me.” Bokuto groans, the rice ball he was shaping completely forgotten as he rests his arms over the table before pressing his head there. “Myaa-sam, I’ll do anything if you keep this a secret.” He presses his hands together, looking up to plead with his best attempt at innocent eyes. Osamu feels a tug somewhere in his body. “Or at least don’t say I told you anything.”

And just like that, Osamu’s brain goes from the million of things he is going to ask Atsumu after yelling at him and teasing him, to;

_“He got caught sneaking out of Sakusa-san’s bedroom last weekend.” Keiji confides, humour evident in his eyes. “But you didn’t hear that from me.”_

Osamu needs to stop doing that. He needs to stop connecting dots between Bokuto and Keiji as if— as if they are meant to be connected.

-o-

_I have a meeting with a writer in Nagoya this weekend. Do you want to meet up for dinner?_

He gets the text after he is done washing the dishes on a Thursday morning. Osamu can’t help the way his heart flips excitedly at Keiji’s text. He can’t even feel shame in the rapid response he texts back. He smiles at his phone like a fool, already texting one of his workers to see if they can cover for him while he is gone for the day.

“Myaa-sam, I’m going to bring some snacks for the game tonight.” Bokuto calls out, his jacket already on as he leans by the door of the apartment. “Any requests?”

Osamu shakes his head, his heart no longer doing happy flips but instead its twisting and turning in discomfort. “Didja want me to drive you—”

“I’ll be back in two hours!” Bokuto calls out, interrupting Osamu. He waves at Osamu before he leaves, the spare key Osamu lent him jiggling in his hands. Osamu looks down on his phone and once again lets his mind consume him with thoughts that do nothing to ease the guilt in his heart.

When they are watching the match later, Osamu finds the chance to mention he wont be home for the majority of Saturday. He tells Bokuto he is going to meet with a client that wants to open up a restaurant in Nagoya. Then he drives all the way there trying to forget the sight of Bokuto’s bright eyes as he congratulated Osamu in another successful ‘expansion of his empire’.

He makes it to the restaurant they picked last night after a short phone call and knows to look for Keiji when he walks past the doors since he is running ten minutes late from their scheduled time.

He finds him sitting in the furthest table in the restaurant, his back facing him as he comfortably looks over the menu. Osamu makes his way over, taking out his coat to quickly place over his chair as he takes a seat in front of him. “Miya-san—”

“It’s Osamu.”

“— I ordered for the two of us, if that’s okay.” Keiji says with a smile, taking a sip from the fancy drink that’s in front of him.

Osamu smiles back, taking in the sight of Keiji as he hums in response. It’s more than okay. Osamu will honest to god eat anything, but over the years Keiji has learned well what he prefers. Keiji knows his taste, knows what he likes, and is bold enough to order him a plate— Osamu’s heart soars. 

While they wait for the food they start up conversation with ease. Keiji tells him about his meeting with the writer and tells him all about a possible opportunity to co-write a short story. Keiji has grown to enjoy editing but he still would love to write more than he gets the chance to.

There are times in which Keiji has allowed Osamu to read snips of his work. Keiji tends to get shy with whatever feedback Osamu offers so most of the time he simply hums while reading in silence, giving Keiji the occasional glance when he reads something interesting. Keiji tries to avoid his eyes but the secret smile he holds isn’t lost to Osamu.

Osamu has offered to read anything Keiji ever writes, confidently stating something along the lines of; _‘I’ll love it no matter what’_ prompting Keiji to accuse him of stealing his words since the first time Keiji sat down in Osamu’s restaurant to eat his food, he had said something similar. _“I’ll eat anything you make, no need to ask, Miya-san, I’m sure ill love it.”_

 _“You don’t need to ask Myaa-sam, I’ll eat anything you make.”_ Bokuto’s words from a few days ago play in his head and Osamu nearly chokes on his water. Keiji laughs at him and Osamu tries to let his laughter warm his now cold body.

 _The_ question is now floating over his head, _should I tell him?_ Should he mention that Bokuto is living with him? Should Osamu bring up his name knowing well the light atmosphere that surrounds them will vanish the moment Bokuto overtakes Keiji’s mind? How will he even react?

Osamu has thought it over these past few weeks. There is the high chance that Keiji will seem surprised for a moment and inquire about his relationship with Bokuto that he wasn’t aware Osamu had. That particular outcome could be troublesome if Keiji goes on to inquire more and eventually: _why aren’t you close?_ What if Keiji begins to wonder why Osamu has always kept a safe distance from the spiker.

Worse. What if he draws the right conclusion and he ends up asking Osamu _why don’t you like him?_ They might not be talking at the moment but Osamu doesn’t doubt Keiji still holds Bokuto in high regard. He will get defensive and he will pressure Osamu into an answer and…

He wont like the answer.

Then there is a chance that Keiji will get upset at Osamu for housing Bokuto. After all, he is technically on Keiji’s side? At least thats heavily implied since Keiji did come up to him to tell him about their fallout. He will surely feel some sort of betrayal if Osamu confesses that Bokuto is living with him even though Bokuto hasn’t said a single word about Keiji.

Osamu almost frowns at the reminder. He spent last weekend overthinking the lack of mentions of Keiji’s name from Bokuto. It’s not like he thinks Bokuto should be talking about Keiji twenty-four seven but… surely a mention? Does Bokuto know Osamu knows about their fight? Does Bokuto even know he is friends with Keiji?

Osamu snorts to himself then, immediately clearing his throat as he looks over at Keiji. Thankfully Keiji had been telling a joke so he doesn’t comment on his reaction as he continues talking. Five years of friendship and counting, yeah, Bokuto has to know.

Their food comes when Keiji is in the middle of explaining the new renovations taking place in his office. Osamu shamelessly drools while Keiji makes a pleasing sound as they both take in the large plates placed in front of them.

“Itadakimasu.” They say in unison and they eat.

Osamu takes charge of the conversation then, voicing the unique taste of the stew he is eating and the possibility of making a new filling. He then talks about his restaurant and other small developments in his business. How the Miyagi restaurant now has two T.V’s that always play volleyball matches. How the Tokyo branch is doing well with late business, the consumption of alcohol increasing as the weather warms.

He talks about his own restaurant. How business is always the same. How there is not a single negative review. How his workers are hard workers and endearing and—

He almost voices how Bokuto has befriended almost all of his workers. How they are now buying the new collection of Jackal’s merchandise with his name rather than his brothers. Some of his younger staff that doesn’t even like volleyball have now been keeping up with the season. Osamu’s stomach turns with the desire to share this information.

But he doesn’t.

They eat and talk and guilt eats away at Osamu but he doesn’t bring up Bokuto. Instead Keiji is sharing a story about two of his friends finally getting together and before they know it, their meals are done, dessert sits in front of them and Keiji is surprisingly ordering another alcoholic drink. Keiji mentions he is taking the train back to Tokyo when Osamu raises an inquiring brow. He also says something about having a busy week and deserving to treat himself and Osamu knows those are just excuses so he steals a sip from Keiji’s drink, takes note of the vanilla flavour, and laughs.

Keiji takes his drink back with a slight pout and Osamu lets his heart scream at how adorable it looks before his mind plays a familiar scene.

_“How much chocolate are ya gonna add?” Osamu asks, staring at the cut up strawberries that Bokuto is bathing with chocolate syrup. “Dontja gotta keep up with yer diet?”_

_Bokuto pouts at him. “I love chocolate.” He stresses and then continues to add just a bit more while ignoring Osamu’s unimpressed expression._

Bokuto likes chocolate. Keiji likes vanilla. Osamu wants to stab something.

He doesn’t, obviously, and instead he lets Keiji continue his story as he digs into the cheese tart in front of him. Keiji eats his own pie while sipping on his drink and Osamu starts to wonder if Keiji’s pink cheeks are due to the heat of the room or the influence of the alcohol.

It doesn’t really matter since the colour compliments Keiji in every way possible. Osamu won’t complain at the sight. Specially when Keiji seems to be in a very good mood. He is smiling more than usual and he is being uncharacteristically chatty— though perhaps Osamu feels that way since usually he is the one that can’t keep his mouth shut. But unfortunately with his mind constantly falling back to thoughts of Bokuto he can’t seem to offer more to the conversation.

Thankfully Keiji doesn’t notice.

Time goes by quickly, it always seems to go by quickly when he is with Keiji. Before he knows it, the sun is setting and the time for the last train to Tokyo approaches so Osamu does the whole going-to-the-washroom-but-secrelty-paying-for-the-bill trick and welcomes Keiji’s unimpressed glare for the five minutes that it takes them to put on their coats and leave the restaurant.

Osamu offers to drive Keiji to the station but Keiji declines and instead convinces Osamu to just walk him over since it’s just ten minutes away. They walk side by side as Keiji starts up another conversation about one of his kohais. Keiji keeps his hands in his coat pockets while Osamu lets them rest by his side, enjoying the feeling of the cold breeze against his warm skin.

It’s when they are just a few feet away from the station that Keiji comes to an abrupt stop. Osamu walks two steps ahead before he notices and turns to watch him. Keiji’s eyes are on the window of the shop next to them. Osamu blinks, tilting his head to try to see what Keiji is focused on.

He feels the air in his lungs disintegrate when his eyes catch sight of the poster displayed. Though really, upon reflection, Osamu is left breathless at the sight rather than what it could mean. It’s a poster of Bokuto (and his brother and Meian), wearing the new collection of merch. Osamu vaguely remembers his brother complaining about the photoshoot. He doesn’t remember him mentioning Bokuto and how stunning he looks.

It’s a weird thought. Specially considering that Osamu has been living with Bokuto for a few weeks now. He sees his face every day.

And just like that Osamu’s mind is taking him back to all those moments when his eyes had lingered a little longer on Bokuto than normal. Just like that Osamu thinks about his golden eyes and the intensity behind every stare. He thinks about Bokuto’s lips and how he licks them a lot when he is eating. He thinks about the way they tilt upwards whenever he is teasing Osamu. How his eyebrows follow the smirk and quirk upwards. How sometimes his eyebrows also furrow when he is concentrating on a workout or when he is watching a match.

Osamu thinks about how each of those observation settle deep inside him with some sort of deifying warmth. For a second, his mind feels like its following a trail of thought that lingers with that warmth… he feels like he is close to realizing something. He thinks he hears Bokuto’s voice call out to him and he thinks he sees a flash of gold but then—

“Osamu-san.”

“It’s Osamu.” Osamu speaks out of habit and instantly shuts his mouth when he registers what Keiji had actually said. His mouth parts as he turns his head, thoughts of Bokuto and the guilt that follows quickly leaving him when his eyes meet Keiji.

Keiji is watching him but his eyes seem to be holding more words than he is ready to say. His lips are pressed together as he switches the weight of his body from one side to the other. “Osamu.” Keiji says again, this time taking a second to watch Osamu’s surprised expression before his hands are reaching out and he is grabbing Osamu’s face and—

He is kissing him.

Keiji is kissing him.

His lips are pressed against Osamu’s, gently parting open even though Osamu is standing completely still. He is frozen in shock, his mind incapable of sticking to a single thought while his eyes stay wide open, staring at Keiji’s closed eyes and pink cheeks. A second passes. Then another. Then Keiji’s lips move to kiss Osamu’s upper lip and Osamu finally clears his head and shouts at his body to _move_.

He puts his hands on Keiji’s shoulders, keeping him in place as he finally closes his eyes and allows his lips to meet the hesitant movements of Keiji’s own lips. _His lips are warm_ , Osamu takes notice, _he is warm._

Osamu’s freaking insides are warm.

He presses himself closer to Keiji as manages to tilt both their heads upwards when his lips move to kiss Keiji’s bottom lip. Keiji parts his mouth a little wider then and Osamu follows his lead, parting his mouth enough to allow his tongue to push forward.

It’s then that the taste of alcohol registers in his mind.

His eyes shoot open as he tightens his hold on Keiji’s shoulders. Keiji moans and Osamu almost melts back into the kiss but the taste of alcohol is now sinking deep into his stomach and Osamu can’t find the strength to ignore it even though a part of him craves to continue on with ignorance.

He pushes Keiji away and Keiji’s eyes open and easily find him in an instant, his expression slowly morphing into something painful as he studies Osamu’s expression. He blinks and opens his mouth.

“Yer drunk.” Osamu states, cutting Keiji off from whatever he was going to say. Osamu’s heart beats against his chest with vigour while he keeps eye contact with Keiji’s now shadowed gaze.

“I’m not.” Keiji doesn’t slur but Osamu takes in the pink on his cheeks and thinks back to the warmth of his lips and _the taste of alcohol_.“Osamu.” Keiji says, taking a step closer to him.

Osamu drops his hands from Keiji’s shoulders and takes a step back. “I— I think I saw a vending machine ‘round the corner.” Osamu says. “I’ll go get us some water.” He then turns and bolts towards the direction of the vending machine before Keiji can say anything.

Osamu lets the blood that circulates in his body burn as he pays for a bottle of water. He ignores the thought process his mind seems to be taking as he tries to convince himself that everything is okay. That nothing happened. That this doesn’t mean anything.

 _It’s the alcohol._ He tells himself, breathing in deeply before jogging back to Keiji’s waiting figure. _It’s gonna be okay._

-o-

It’s not okay. Osamu is parked outside his restaurant, his eyes staring at the steering wheel as his mind replays the same scene over and over again:

Keiji taking the water and mumbling a _thank you_. Osamu trying to lighten the mood with a joke and Keiji looking at him, his eyes unfocused as he nods along to Osamu’s words. Keiji’s stoic face the rest of the walk to the station. Osamu’s weak attempt at conversation. Keiji saying a polite _goodbye Miya-san_ , before getting in the train. Osamu waving at him once he is seated and looking out the window. Keiji not waving back. Instead he stares at him, his expression exclaiming sadness and regret. Osamu felt a different press against his heart then; like a knife stabbing his heart from the inside out.

Osamu’s hands shake at the memory, his mind now considering that maybe Keiji’s dejected expression meant he realized what he did. He realized he made a mistake. Then Osamu thinks about the poster and how Keiji had stopped and—It makes sense. Of course it makes sense. Keiji was probably just —Osamu’s blood boils— thinking about Bokuto.

Why else would he look so hurt?

Osamu pushes that question away from his mind. In fact, he is forcing every single question away. The memory plays over and over again but there is no part of him that is ready to make sense of what happened. He doesn’t want to think about Keiji’s intention, reasoning, or temporary jolt of insanity. He doesn’t want to think about what’s going on inside his head.

He slams his head against the steering wheel, accidentally hitting the honk. The loud noise acts like some sort of reset button as Osamu manages to clear his mind long enough to notice the lights of the restaurant’s kitchen are still on. He glances down at his watch, taking note that it’s two hours past close, before he finally finds the energy to exist his car.

He walks in through the main entrance. With the light that comes from the kitchen Osamu gives the dinning area a quick glance over. Once he notices nothing is amiss he goes forward, pushing the kitchen doors open.

His eyes easily find Bokuto. He blinks, surprised at the sight before he lets out a weird sound when his eyes fall to the sink in front of Bokuto. “Myaa-sam!” Bokuto cheers as Osamu lets his mind catch up with what he sees. Unfortunately his brain seems to be as exhausted as his body so he can’t make sense of the sight in front of him to actually voice anything coherent. 

“Bokuto… what?” He says.

“Niko-kun had a family emergency. He tried to get a hold of you but you weren’t picking up. I didn’t really know how else to contact you so I offered my help.” Osamu blinks at him as Bokuto lifts the bowl that sits on the sink and drains the water from it. “He still did everything and stayed till the restaurant was closed, he just didn’t have enough time to do any of the prep for tomorrow.”

Osamu’s first thought is to give Niko a call. His second is that it’s way too late for that. His third is that its late and Bokuto is here working when— “ _Bokuto”_ Osamu calls out, “your leg.”

Bokuto puts the bowl back down. He looks at Osamu, his gaze so intense and focused like usual but for some reason Osamu feels like there is something new dancing in his eyes. There is something there that’s sparking some sort of flame in his body. “It’s fine.” Bokuto finally says, his eyes going back to the work in front of him. “I’m wearing my brace and it doesn’t really hurt.” He laughs sheepishly. “Though it did hurt earlier so I had to sit down and take a break. It’s why I’m still up.”

“ _Bokuto_ ,” This time Osamu calls out a little more alarmed, his legs finally finding the energy to walk towards him. “I can finish up. You should go and—”

“Hey, hey!” Bokuto interrupts, moving the bowl from Osamu’s reach. “It’s okay. Plus.” He laughs. “You look really tired. How was the meeting— ah! Just tell me tomorrow. Go get some rest, yeah?”

Osamu stares at the bowl of rice in Bokuto’s hands, then his eyes travel to the three containers of cleaned rice that sit by the counter next to him, and finally to the half empty bag of rice that sits by the floor next to him. “I can’t just…” He trails off, unable to find the words to continue. Instead he looks back at Bokuto and accepts the warmth the gentle smile he wears offers him.

“Tsum-Tsum always forces us to rest when we’re tired.” Bokuto says after a second. “He says you used to give him shit when you were kids.” He then adds, the lift of his lip freezing Osamu in place. “You wouldn’t want me to tell him you’re going against your own teachings, hm?”

Osamu’s eyes take in every inch of his lips, they absorb every detail before trailing to his eyes and getting burned with whatever fire lies in them. His chest feels like it’s going to be squashed into puree while the warmth he felt earlier in the day, when looking at the poster of the man that stands in front of him, seems to once again spread out for him, opening a path to an answer Osamu now fears to see.

That fear is what wakes up every nerve in his body willing to flee. He nods, and thanks Bokuto for his help and leaves the kitchen without sparing him another glance.

His heart beats loudly with every step he takes. His blood burns every part of his body. Like earlier, his mind runs circles around unexplainable feelings. His hands shake all the way until Osamu is gripping the washroom sink, his eyes transfixed in the mirror in front of him.

He looks at the bags under his eyes, his disheveled hair, his parted mouth that seeks the oxygen he needs to calm down. He thinks about Bokuto’s eyes then and hates himself a little for letting Bokuto see him in such a state. No wonder he thought he looked tired, he can’t even relax the muscles in his face long enough to showcase a smile or at least something more neutral.

Osamu closes his eyes; the sight in front of him is forcing his stomach to churn in disgust, especially when he thinks about the reason behind his state. Osamu is far from tired. He just feels like the weight of the world is crashing down against him.

-o-

“ _There is a new editor working in my department._ ” Keiji says, his tone sounding softer than usual through the speaker. “ _She is nice._ ”

“Yeah?” Osamu replies and Keiji hums.

It takes them a minute to start up another conversation after that. It dies quickly, just like the last one.

-o-

Osamu is in a constant state of confusion and despair.

He keeps letting his mind entertain painful thoughts every time he is remind of the situation he is in right now. He doesn’t know how to make everything not make him feel guilty. He just can’t organize his thoughts enough to have a moment rest.

Either he is thinking about Keiji, the kiss, the look in his eyes, the possibility that his friendship with him can be at risk or he is thinking about Bokuto, his help, the smirk that always plays on his face, the possibility that Osamu is starting to warm up to his friendship.

Or he is thinking about how he is stuck in the middle of these two.

How Keiji doesn’t know Bokuto is staying here. How Bokuto doesn’t know Osamu has feelings for Keiji. How... _would they even care about any of this?_ Osamu bangs his head against a surface every time he starts thinking too deeply about that particular question, and it’s in one of those moments that Bokuto’s friend catches sight of him.

“You must be Myaa-sam?” The guy that stands on the other side of the counter states, his eyes showing his amusement as the lazy smirk that rests on his face does nothing but infuriate Osamu. Or maybe it’s hearing that nickname coming from someone who isn’t Bokuto that has his blood boiling.

Either way it takes him a second to clear his mind to make sense of the person in front of him. His mind instantly takes him back to five days ago when Bokuto mentioned something about a friend being ‘concerned’. Then he thinks about Bokuto asking him if he can host said friend for just a day. Osamu says yes, never bothering to ask what friend.

He clears his throat. “And you are…”

The smirk stays well put. “Konoha.” He says. “Nice to meet you.”

Osamu does not like the way he says that. In fact, by the end of the day, there is a lot he doesn’t like about Konoha.

For example, he hates the look Konoha Akinori gives him the moment Bokuto introduces him properly, rambling on about high school and teammates and other stupidly endearing things that Osamu can’t focus on because Konoha’s eyes scream _trouble_ while the tilt of his lips whisper _danger._

He also doesn’t like how Konoha makes Bokuto act in a way Osamu has only seen Bokuto act when he is around… Keiji? _No_. Maybe he just can’t stop thinking about Keiji and has to relate everything back to him. Bokuto surely acts like this when he is surrounded by this teammates.

Even so, he doesn’t like how Konoha can just… influence Bokuto so much. He doesn’t like that they have inside jokes. He doesn’t like how Bokuto laughs and talks with confidence— something that he hasn’t really done since his arrival. So really, Osamu doesn’t like how Konoha puts Bokuto at ease because that’s— that’s just—

Osamu bangs his head one more time, though this time it’s against a wall as his eyes focus back on Konoha and Bokuto who are watching some sports commentary on his T.V while they eat some ramen.

Yes. There is a lot he doesn’t like about Konoha. But Osamu is smart enough to realize that all his previously stated reasons are a bit petty, specially considering they all bother him so much because they pull out his guilt over his treatment towards Bokuto these past few days. If Bokuto wasn’t feeling comfortable, then it’s surely Osamu’s fault. It’s surely because Osamu has stubbornly been clinging onto his dislike for Bokuto.

Yet here he is, hiding behind a wall and watching. Here he is feeling his finger curl as Konoha does the one thing Osamu hates the most.

“Are you stupid! Don’t eat that!” Konoha exclaims, grabbing Bokuto’s hand to pull it towards him so he can eat the piece of meat he was holding. “It’s bad for your diet.”

Bokuto whines, “It’s bad for your diet too!”

Konoha laughs and reaches for his own piece of meat but before he can eat it, Bokuto is almost on top of him, balancing his ramen bowl with one hand while the other hand holds one of Konoha’s hands away as he tries to reach for the piece of meat with his mouth.

“You beast!” Konoha laughs, trying to keep his own ramen from spilling as he tries to fight Bokuto. Though even with the brace on his leg, Bokuto still overpowers him. He manages to eat the meat and when Konoha begins to complain all he does is comfortably slot his body closer to him.

Osamu hates how Konoha touches Bokuto.

He absolutely loathes the way his hands always seem to find him. With every touch, Osamu thinks one of his blood vessels will pop. Even worse, he hates that Bokuto doesn’t mind touching him either. And it’s crazy because it’s like Bokuto is not afraid to touch him—and that’s stupid, because Bokuto is most definitely not afraid of touching Osamu. It’s just that… now that Osamu can see Bokuto interact with Konoha, he can’t help but notice how touchy Bokuto is. That thought is reenforced by memories of him with his teammates and suddenly…

_Why doesn’t Bokuto ever pat his back? Why doesn’t he place his legs over his lap? Why doesn’t he casually grab onto his hand while he talks? Why doesn’t he rest his head over his shoulders when they watch T.V?_

Why is he touching Konoha so much and why is that upsetting Osamu?

And Konoha… he is a sly fucker that knows something because why else is that stupid smile splattered on his face as he watches Osamu watch Bokuto lively make more ramen? Osamu looks away indignantly, blood rushing to his cheeks for some reason.

-o-

“Keiji.” Osamu greets, the hold on his phone tightening as he waits for a response.

 _“Miya-san.”_ Keiji’s voice comes through the speaker. “ _How are you?_ ”

 _It’s Osamu._ Osamu thinks but doesn’t say. Not when he remembers Keiji’s eyes the moment he last called him by his first name. “Good. Good! Just… called to tell you about this new flavour I wanna try.”

 _“Ah.”_ Keiji says.

Osamu hears the strain in his voice. He chooses to ignore it. “I was thinking of mixing something from a previous recipe…”

-o-

Atsumu visits three days after Konoha. He comes with a few gifts for Bokuto, claiming they are from fans, and with a long list of things their trainers have ordered Bokuto to do. Then Atsumu and Bokuto pull out Osamu’s playstation and Osamu leaves them playing their eighth round of _Mortal Combat_. When Osamu comes back upstairs four hours later, Bokuto is still playing while Atsumu sleeps curled up on the couch next to him, his head resting on his lap. Osamu smiles, not surprised by the sight.

What does surprise him however is that his home is clean (something thats never possible when Atsumu is around) and next to his dinner, with a sticky note that says Myaa-sam, there is a plate of cheese tarts from Osamu’s favourite bakery from Osaka. Osamu blinks, shocked that his brother bought that for him, specially after the short _‘Serves you right’_ text Osamu sent him a week ago after giving his mom a call to inform her of Kita’s visits.

He figured Atsumu would stay angry for another week. In fact, since his arrival he has done nothing but ignore Osamu. Either way, Osamu wont take this for granted. He grabs a cheese tart and takes a bite, closing his eyes as he moans contentedly.

“You like these, right?” Bokuto speaks up from behind him, forcing Osamu’s eyes open as he turns around. Bokuto is leaning against the kitchen entrance, his arms crossed over his chest as he watches him. Osamu blinks at him and nods, his mouth still full. “I told Tsum-Tsum to get you some from the bakery by the dorms.” A pause, “they’re your favourite, right?”

Osamu chews until he can swallow. Then he yells at his mind to _shut up_ as he nods and smiles at Bokuto. “Thank you.” He says honestly, his heart now beating hard against his chest.

Bokuto blinks at him and then smiles before he quickly looks away. “No problem!” He says in a rush. He chuckles to himself before exiting the kitchen. Osamu watches him go before he grabs the rest of the cheese tarts and closes the fridge.

He goes to his bedroom, his mouth working on chewing another piece as he tries to enjoy every bit of flavour. He is so focused with his task that the is completely caught of guard by the dopey smile he wears when he catches sight of it on the reflection from his mirror.

He blinks, momentarily shocked at the lovesick expression before he feels his gut drop as his heart twists at an uncomfortable realization.

-o-

Osamu stares at his phone. He stares as it vibrates. He stares at the name displayed on the screen. He stares at the picture that appears.

He stares until the ringing stops and the screen goes black.

Keiji calls one more time and Osamu does nothing but stare.

-o-

He has a crush on Bokuto.

He has a crush on Bokuto—of that he is sure. Yet, _how_? How is that even possible? How can he feel _so much_ when Keiji keeps haunting his thoughts.

Osamu goes through a complete mental breakdown as he thinks back to the past few weeks and all of their interactions. He thinks about their time together during breakfast. He thinks about Bokuto’s proud smile when Osamu shares anything about his restaurant. He thinks about the way Bokuto has no shame in asking Osamu for help in wrapping some bandages. He thinks about how he teases Osamu, how his lips always turn upwards, how his eyebrow follow the movement, how for some reason Osamu has Bokuto face engraved in his memory.

That alone warms all his insides. It wakes up every single one of his nerves. It fuels every one of his organs. It burns the blood that circulates his body. It then sparks a different memory in his mind.

He thinks about how at the start of all this, Osamu clearly believed he disliked Bokuto and how now, as his mind tries to make sense of how that was ever possible, he can’t help but feel like the biggest idiot in the world. How could anyone dislike Bokuto? How, when he is so easy to like. Bokuto is… he is warmth. He is comfort. He is a star, in every sense.

He is driving Osamu completely insane.

Because now that Osamu has come to terms with the emotions he carries towards Bokuto, now his mind can obsess over all the stupid things he does that meant nothing to him when Osamu stubbornly believed him to be some sort of love-rival.

Now Osamu eats breakfast with a permanent smile on his face, pleased at the thought of Bokuto’s hands working to put the meal together. Now Osamu’s heart pounds every time he sees something placed in its rightful place, now his heart soars when he notices the way Bokuto looks after his space. Now Osamu’s cheeks burn when he watches Bokuto walk around his apartment in just shorts. Now his hands begin to sweat when Bokuto does his usual stretches or massages his leg. Now Osamu can’t make eye contact every time he kneels down in front of Bokuto to help him tighten his bandages.

Now, Osamu feels bewitched and for some reason he is constantly trying to find reasons to be around Bokuto. For some reason, this crush makes him feel giddy and lighthearted. He feels breathless every time he in his presence and he wants to feel that. He wants to suck in every bit of warmth Bokuto offers even though that warmth is almost always followed by guilt. And because Osamu’s foolish nature is much stronger than whatever sense of preservation he might have; he always ends up in situations like this;

“I’m going to help!” Bokuto says, pushing Niko towards the door. “I feel like I have so much energy! You should go home to your family, I’ll help Myaa-sam, right?” Niko and Bokuto both turn to face him and Osamu can’t do anything but nod along as he waves his hand dismissively at his worker.

“Yer kid’s play is tomorrow, yeah? Get a good night sleep.” Bokuto beams while Niko says something back, probably a thank you, but Osamu is too busy trying to hide away the blush that covers his cheeks to hear him. 

Osamu takes the four minutes it takes Bokuto to bid Niko farewell to clear his mind and conjure up a plan to get the cleaning of his restaurant done fast enough so that Bokuto wont strain his leg. He also would much rather spend some time with him upstairs watching T.V, rather than cleaning a few tables.

He ends up giving Bokuto the job of wiping down the windows and disinfecting the tables and chairs while Osamu works on the counters and floor. Bokuto has no problem with the tasks he is given and actually manages to finish before Osamu can get started on moping the floor. Osamu tries to get him to sit down but instead Bokuto insist on helping out more and that’s how he ends up carrying around a few bags of rice so that Osamu can clean the storage shelves below the counters.

Bokuto is no longer wearing his leg brace, instead, Osamu can see the athletic tape peak from the bottom of his shorts as he bends down again to pick up another bag. Osamu tries hard to keep his eyes on the tape rather than the muscles of his leg but quickly fails so he looks away before he gets caught. Unfortunately for him, he ends up looking at Bokuto’s back and arms where he ends up noticing how the shirt he wears seems to be tighter than usual. Osamu swallows, hating how his heart presses against his chest, demanding attention as stupid domestic thoughts enter his mind.

Thankfully Bokuto gets distracted with the design of Kita’s rice bags long enough for Osamu to finish cleaning the counters. He pulls out a bucket with water to get the cleaning of the floor started when Bokuto makes a little sound of surprise.

“I forgot to clean the glass behind the counter!” Osamu chuckles, grabbing the windex spray to hand it over. Bokuto takes it and Osamu tries to get his mind to focus on anything but Bokuto’s endearing smile. After a second however, his smile turns into a frown and Osamu raises an eyebrow as Bokuto begins twisting the cap of the bottle. “I think it’s broken.” Bokuto says eventually, his hands still trying to get the bottle open.

Osamu walks forwards, extending his hand to grab the bottle from Bokuto but before he can grab it, Bokuto uses enough force to break it open and in turn, he squirts Osamu with the spray. Bokuto laughs. “It’s working now!” He says and purposefully sprays Osamu two more times.

Osamu finds himself grinning. “Is it, now?” He asks, snatching the bottle from Bokuto’s hand to spray him back. “Huh, wouldja look at that, it _does_ work.”

“Myaa-sam! I love this shirt.” Bokuto whines, already reaching to grab another bottle before attempting to spray Osamu with it. Osamu thankfully moves before he can get hit.

“That has bleach!” He cries out, lifting the bottle he has to aim.

“I think your black shirt would look good with some orange dots!” Bokuto remarks.

Osamu lets his mouth drop in shock before he shuts it close and smirks. “Oh, so thats how it’s gonna be.”

It’s childish and stupid.

Bokuto and Osamu try spraying each other, always careful to aim nowhere near their faces. They use the tables and chairs as shields while they make sure to stay clear of the counters. They continue their childish play until the bottles don’t seem to be enough. Bokuto is the first to grab a sponge of water and throw it at Osamu. Osamu is the first to accidentally soak the sponge with a lot more water than necessary before throwing it at Bokuto.

Childish and stupid, but eventually they are almost soaked and Osamu has to convince himself that the floors needed a _very_ good cleaning anyways. Osamu goes to grab a mop once he surrenders after Bokuto threatens to throw a whole bucket of water at him. Bokuto thankfully puts the bucket down but not before splashing Osamu just a little with some of the water.

Osamu whines about his shirt but Bokuto hardly feels sorry for him since he is too busy complaining about his hair that Osamu managed to get soaped water all over. Osamu laughs, enjoying the sight of Bokuto’s pout as he tries to flatten his hair down. “I need a towel.” He ends up mumbling, heading to the back of the kitchen as Osamu begins to mop the floor.

It’s then when the bell of his restaurant dings, signalling someone is pushing open the door.

Osamu thinks back to Bokuto walking Niko out and realizes he probably didn’t lock the door. He sighs, turning around as he says, “Sorry. We are closed—” only to shut his mouth the moment his eyes land on Keiji’s figure.

“Sorry for the intrusion.” Keiji says, his eyes studying Osamu as he tightens the hold he has on a gift basket. Osamu lets his eyes trail from the basket and then back to Keiji’s face as he tries to get his mouth to move. But he can’t find the words. His mind can’t even focus on a thought other than _Keiji, here, Hyogo— Bokuto_

And just when he thinks of said man, Bokuto is walking back out, his hands working on drying his wet hair while the towel covers most of his face. “I smell like dish soap.” He says, removing the towel from his hair.

Osamu gets to witness the exact moment when Keiji and Bokuto eyes meet.

He doesn’t move. For a second he thinks he is not even breathing.

“Akaashi.” Bokuto says, surprise clear in his voice.

Keiji seems at a loss for words. He opens his mouth a few times, his eyes wide as they travel back and forward from Osamu to Bokuto. Then, after a short silence; “I— I guess this is a bad time.” Keiji says turning to face Osamu, his mouth settling on a thin line.

From the corner of his eyes, Osamu thinks he manages to catch the exact moment in which Bokuto realizes Keiji is not here for him.

“I was just cleaning up.” Osamu says, the words leaving his mouth before he can think it through. He swallows, putting the mop aside to step towards Keiji who is already walking towards the closest table to place down the basket.

“I bought you some…” Keiji trails off, his hands gesturing towards the basket. From what Osamu sees it look like it’s filled with some chocolate, beer and snacks. “As an apology for... for what happened that night.”

Osamu feels a lump grow in his throat. He stops just a few steps away from Keiji. “Ah, that. Uh. Keiji it’s really okay—”

“What happened?” Bokuto asks abruptly, and Osamu instantly turns to see his expression. His eyebrows are furrowed as his eyes seem to be focused on the basket, though from another angle maybe Bokuto is just looking at the space left between Osamu and Keiji.

“That’s none of your business” Keiji snaps, his tone surprising Osamu.

Osamu’s mouth parts, a million excuses and apologies coming to mind as he tries to think of how to dilute the situation. Before he can get the chance however, Bokuto is taking a step forward, his eyes now completely focused on Keiji. “You came all the way to Hyogo unannounced just to drop off some apology gift basket?” Bokuto accuses, his gaze so intense Osamu is thankful he is not on the receiving end. “Your time is valuable,” Bokuto mocks, “must be something serious.”

Osamu knows he probably looks ridiculous with the way his mouth drops as he stares at Bokuto completely dumbfound. If his brother were here he would probably pull out his phone and take a picture so he could laugh at him for the rest of their days. _This can’t be happening._ Osamu thinks, Bokuto now standing next to him, facing Keiji.

“If you really must know.” Keiji raises his voice after a few seconds of silence. Osamu swallows then, the taste of something bitter evident as he takes in how Keiji’s gaze is much like Bokuto’s. “I made a confession and it wasn’t accepted.”

Osamu hears his words. _I made a confession._ Keiji says and Osamu hears him loud and clear. _And it wasn’t accepted_. Yes. Osamu hears those words.

They just don’t make sense. “A confession!?” He questions, his eyes wide as Keiji’s words continue to echo in his head.

Keiji turns to look at him, his eyes carefully examining him before his attention is captured by Bokuto’s voice once again; “You…?” Bokuto says and Osamu turns to watch his eyes fly from Keiji to Osamu. “You two are…?”

“You obviously didn’t hear correctly.” Keiji snaps, crossing his arms over his chest. “There is no ‘you two’, Miya-san doesn’t feel the same and…” A pause.“I guess I can see why.”

Two things come to Osamu’s mind at the moment.

The first is that Bokuto is under the impression that something is going on between him and Keiji. And if the look he wears is anything to go by, he is probably quickly coming to realize Osamu has been hiding quite a few things from both him and Keiji.

Which is all much to similar to the second thing that circles his mind.

Keiji apparently confessed to him. Keiji is under the impression that he confessed and that Osamu rejected him. And on top of that, Keiji also now seems to think something is going on between him and Bokuto.

Osamu feels like he is drowning in freezing water. “Wait a minute! Keiji—”

“Though I’m surprised you could find the time for something other than volleyball.” Keiji interrupts Osamu, his eyes travelling to Bokuto’s leg as he uncrosses his arms. “Though... maybe it’s a recent thing. With volleyball out of the way, maybe you can finally value something else."

“ _Keiji!_ ” Osamu calls out, shocked at the words that were spoken so venomously.

Keiji recoils, his eyes widening as Bokuto snaps his mouth shut. Osamu can’t find the strength to look at how those words have affected him and instead focuses on Keiji’s expression of disbelief. “I didn’t... my apologies.” Keiji says. “That’s not what I wanted to say.”

Osamu can hear the sincerity behind those words. Surely Bokuto…

“I valued our friendship.” Bokuto starts and Osamu finally turns to look at him, slightly surprised by the sad smile he wears. “You are the one that pushed me away.” Osamu doesn’t miss the hurt behind those words.

Keiji doesn’t deny it. “I didn’t want your friendship.” He eventually says instead and once again, Osamu feels his insides twist with discomfort. “I wanted more. And I knew… I knew that would be impossible, for obvious reasons.” Keiji adds and Osamu thinks he feels his heart sink. “I…I panicked. But even so you—you let me go. You didn’t need me and I.” Keiji sighs. “It hurt.”

Osamu has the sudden urge to hug Keiji. His hands itch with the desire to reach out and comfort him but… he lets his hands form into fists instead, keeping them by his side as his eyes go back to Bokuto. “I thought…I was suffocating you.” Bokuto finally admits, his expression clearly showcasing his sadness as he takes a step closer to Keiji. Osamu then watches as Keiji bites his lip and also moves an inch closer to Bokuto.

Osamu thinks his heart is breaking a little.

Bokuto and Keiji are staring at each other. They seem to be having some sort of mental conversation as they slowly but surely get closer to each other and— Osamu can’t breath. His heart is beating wildly as the scene plays out in front of him.

It’s like they forgot he is here. It’s like no one, but the two of them, exist.

It’s both so beautiful to watch as it is heartbreaking. But above all, Osamu thinks a part of him is happy. He really is. Because they both seem to be realizing that this was all a misunderstanding. Not only that, but there is no way Keiji is looking at Bokuto now and thinking it’s impossible. Not with the way Bokuto watches him. Not with the way his eyes stare into his soul, both giving and taking warmth.

Osamu has learned a lot about Bokuto these past few weeks, but over all, it’s safe to say Osamu has known Bokuto for almost a decade. He may not have known about Bokuto’s skill in the kitchen, or his unexpected organization skills, or his enjoyment of quiet evenings. But Osamu can confidently state that he has known that the look he currently wears is one thats only ever directed at Keiji. That the way his eyes scream love… it’s only ever for Keiji.

And Keiji.

Keiji is beautiful as always, his face hardly showing much of an expression but his eyes screaming loud enough to make up for it all. _It was only a matter of time_. He thinks to himself. Out loud, before Bokuto and Keiji can say another word, he says; “Looks like you guys need to do some talking.”

He is happy for them, somewhere deep inside he knows he really is. But here, right now, he doesn’t think he can be okay with this. He can’t stay and watch. Not when Osamu feels his heart break in half when his eyes fall on Bokuto and the halves shatter into pieces when he glances at Keiji.

He leaves, ignoring Bokuto’s shout of protest and Keiji’s attempt to reach for his shoulder.

-o-

When Osamu returns, the floor of his restaurant has been moped and all of the cleaning equipment has been put away. Osamu takes a moment to take in the sight of it all before he pushes whatever thoughts were going to invade his mind in favour of heading towards his apartment.

It’s half an hour past midnight and by his calculations, it’s safe to return since Keiji is probably on his way back to Tokyo and Bokuto is fast asleep since he has an appointment with his doctor in the morning. Osamu originally considered staying away all night but he is twenty-seven years old and he has a goddamn business to run.

This is all his stupid fault anyways. His stupid fault for letting his heart harbour feelings for Keiji during all this time, knowing well that his heart belonged to Bokuto. Never mind that little moment of insanity when Keiji kissed him. After some thinking Osamu has reached the conclusion that Keiji must of done it because he felt lonely. That and he was missing Bokuto. And that whole talk about a confession was probably just something to make Bokuto jealous.

Osamu doesn’t like how that particular thought paints Keiji but he is too sad to care.

So yeah, this is Osamu’s fault for ever thinking he had a chance with Keiji. Furthermore, for foolishly letting his heart open up to Bokuto. For finding warmth in his smile. For letting his personality shine bright enough to blind Osamu to the disaster he nows stands in the midsts of.

Osamu prides himself on being the smarter twin. He always thought himself as a rational being. He always made calculated decisions. He always listened to logic. Atsumu is the one with a history of irrational mistakes. He is the one thats gotten his heart squashed a few times due to his unreasonable faith in his feelings.

But in a way, Atsumu has used all those life experiences to build up his heart. In a way, Osamu doesn’t think Atsumu could ever find himself caught in-between two indestructible forces. Osamu sighs, his hands on the door handle of his apartment, he really wants to call his brother.

He can’t however, not when Atsumu has a game in a few hours. Not when Osamu is not ready to admit he has heart eyes for one of his friends. It’s like an unspoken rule between siblings, right? Not falling for friends? Oh well. It wouldn’t be the first time Osamu has broken that rule. Though it’s definitely the first time its ended so badly. It’s the first time all Osamu wants to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

He opens the door and walks in, thoughts about crying circling his mind before he hears a small sound of surprise that has his eyes snapping towards the direction of the dinning room. There, Osamu is completely caught off guard by the sight of both Bokuto and Keiji sitting on his dinning room table.

He freezes, the door behind him already shut close so there is no way he can turn around and bolt. Keiji and Bokuto have also already noticed him.

Osamu, not for the first time, thinks the world is a little bit cruel.

“Why did you leave?” Bokuto asks, though Keiji’s eyes seem to burn with the same question.

Osamu opens his mouth but no words come out. _Isn’t it obvious?_ He thinks. “I take it you resolved your issues?” Thats safe. _Keep the conversation away from you._ “I figured you’d want some space.”

“Osamu.” Keiji says, standing from his seat to walk towards Osamu. He stands right in front of him before asking; “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Keiji doesn’t have to specify for him to know what he is talking about. _Why didn’t you tell me Bokuto was living with you?_ Is what Keiji is saying. Almost instantly does Osamu come up with all the reasons he originally used to keep his mouth from telling Keiji. He thinks about everything he told himself, all the lies he repeated in his head to assure him that keeping that bit of information from Keiji was the smart thing to do. Osamu thinks of a million things to say and yet he ends up saying; “I didn’t think you’d care.”

He regrets it immediately and considers taking it back. But neither Bokuto or Keiji react to his words so instead Osamu keeps his mouth shut, his body already slouching as he feels like he is being drained from the last bit of energy he holds. “I see.” Keiji eventually says, his expression clouded.

“Myaa-sam.”

Hearing Bokuto’s voice is like a stab to the heart. Osamu’s throat clogs as he moves to walk past Keiji. “It’s been a long day. I should—“

“We owe you an explanation.” Bokuto interrupts, standing up from his seat.

Osamu swallows, stopping in his steps to watch him. Bokuto meets his eyes but there is hesitation in them and… thats a bit unsettling. But Osamu doesn’t have enough time to make sense of it since Keiji once again moves to stand in front of him.

“You seemed shocked earlier. When I mentioned that my confession wasn’t accepted.” Keiji says and Osamu feels his brain haywire.

“That’s—that’s because.” Osamu shuts his mouth, collecting every ounce of patience he has left before adding; “ _What_ confession? You didn’t even…”

“I kissed you.”

“Because you— you…” Osamu inhales thinking back to that day. _Why did you kiss me?_ “You were drunk.” He ends up stating, though it doesn't even sound like a good enough argument now that he has voiced it. “Or you just— I don’t know. Keiji you,” His eyes travel to Bokuto. “You two… you love each other right? It’s obvious.”

Keiji bites his lips before saying; “But I kissed _you._ ”

 _I know._ Osamu’s mentally screams _. I was there._ “Keiji.” Osamu starts. “I may share the same face as my brother but I don’t have his steel heart.” There is understanding in Keiji’s eyes and even Bokuto seems to nod at those words. “I don’t know what yer trying to say— what the kiss was suppose to mean, but I’m not an idiot. I know what love looks like and—” Osamu signals at the two of them. “I just. Im glad, okay? I’m happy for the two of you.” _It’s my fault,_ he doesn’t say. _I knew from the start._

“Osamu.” Keiji says and Osamu’s heart churns. _Osamu_. Out of all times to get comfortable with his first name, Keiji really had to pick _now_?

“You guys deserve this. Years of friendship that have turned into _this.”_ He makes some vague hand gestures before continuing; “I mean Keiji you… you are amazing? Caring? Thoughtful—”

“So you like Keiji?” Bokuto asks, his voice cutting through whatever rant Osamu was ready to deliver. Osamu meets his eyes and finds himself at a loss for words with the way the gold in them locks onto Osamu, demanding his undivided attention.

“I—” Osamu swallows. A second goes by. Then another. “Yeah.”

“You do?” Keiji asks and Osamu almost laughs at the surprise in his tone. He drops his gaze, unable to watch as Bokuto’s eyes change with every word Osamu utters.

“‘Course I do.” He says. “How could I not?” He whispers the last bit, finding the strength to lift his gaze to meet Keiji’s awaiting eyes. Osamu almost takes a step back at the passion he finds in them. But like a magnet, Bokuto’s eyes capture him once again and Osamu is frozen in spot, staring into Bokuto’s sad eyes. That sight alone almost makes him regret ever opening his mouth. “But it doesn’t need to mean anything.” He adds, trying to find the right words to reassure Bokuto. “I mean— I’ve know about you two for a while, yeah?” He turns back to face Keiji. “I value our friendship. I’m not asking for anything else. You and Bokuto—”

“Bokuto doesn’t like me.” Keiji states, his tone unwavering as he delivers such a shocking fact. _Keiji._ Osamu thinks he hears Bokuto cry out but it does nothing as Keiji meets his eyes and adds; “he likes _you_.”

This is not what he expected to hear. In fact, Osamu doesn’t think he heard Keiji. At least not correctly. Because…surely he didn’t…

“What!?” Osamu feels the question leave his mouth before his mind can even think it.

“For years now.” Osamu hears Keiji say. Osamu is not too sure. Not when all he can do is focus on the red tint that grows on Bokuto’s cheeks. 

“Thats— thats not…” _Bokkun likes you._ Atsumu had stated after dropping Bokuto off weeks ago. Osamu knows how blunt his bother is. He just never thought that the 'like' meant something more than friendship. “Then why…?” Osamu asks perplexed. Keiji and Bokuto stare at him and it takes Osamu a second to realize he is not making much sense. He groans then, clearing his throat before clarifying; “Why be my friend when…”

“I can’t blame you for the way Bokuto feels.” Osamu feels a familiar wave of freezing water rush through his body. He thinks about knowing that Keiji loves Bokuto then. Thinks about how he didn’t like Bokuto for that reason and feels so utterly underserving of even standing here. “It would be a bit hypocritical since I feel the same way.”

Like just a few minutes ago, Osamu feels his brain haywire. “ _What?_ ”

“I kissed _you_.” Keiji reminds him and Osamu finally feels like he has lost the last bit of sanity he had left.

“I don’t understand.” He says, incapable of thinking of anything else to say.

“I told you, didn’t I?” Keiji adds, a smile now on his face. “I realized some things.”

Osamu closes his eyes and thinks about _that_ conversation. He thinks about how dubious Keiji was acting the entire time. He thinks about his choice of words. He thinks about the way he refused to actually state what the fight with Bokuto had even been about. Keiji had just been so vague but at the some so expressive, Osamu had been sure he could fill in the blanks. 

“Thats— I thought you meant your feelings! For him!” He points at Bokuto who still seems to be embarrassed by the conversation. The red on his cheeks is still there.

Keiji blinks at him. “I’ve always known my feelings for Bokuto.”

“‘Kaashi.” Bokuto whines, walking to stand closer to them.

“We fought because I realized I wanted to voice my feelings.” Keiji states. “For the two of you.”

Osamu thinks he sounds like a broken record as he manages to choke out; “what?”

“It wasn’t that!” Bokuto intervenes. “We fought because you wouldn’t believe me when I said I had feelings for you!”

“Yeah well.” Keiji shrugs. Osamu wonders if he were to repeat himself and say _I don’t understand,_ will they actually explain it to him? “Forgive me for having doubts after years of pining.”

Bokuto looks angry for a second before he huffs, crosses his arms and looks away. Osamu gets a clear view of the blush extending to his ears before he lets his mind do a bit of work and organize his thoughts.

“So let me get this straight.” Osamu starts. “Ya like me?” He looks at Keiji who stares back it him with the same deadpan expression he tends to wear when dealing with something troublesome. Osamu knows from years of friendship that it’s just a front and Keiji is probably screaming internally since his cheeks are betraying him and Osamu can notice the hints of a blush. “Uh-huh. And Kou,” he looks over at Bokuto, the nickname surprising both him and Bokuto. “Ya like me too?”

Bokuto blinks. “I do.” He says, finally standing right behind Keiji as he faces Osamu. “For a while now.”

“Oh.” Osamu says after swallowing the lump that forms in his throat. “How long?”

“Uhhh… thats. Thats not really…”

“Since the first time you came to watch the Jackals play.” Keiji answers for him.

Osamu doesn’t think he is ever going to feel more surprised than he does now.

“‘Kaashi.” Bokuto whines again.

Bokuto likes him? Has liked him for years and—

“Does Atsumu know?”

The blush from Bokuto and the smug smile from Akaashi is answer enough.

Osamu think about his stupid brother. How he knows things. How he used to give Osamu looks every time Osamu was talking to Keiji. How he came to his home and invited Bokuto in, his eyes staring at Osamu saying _‘do it for Keiji’_ with the way he casually mentioned Tokyo wasn’t the right place for him.

Because his brother knows he likes Keiji just like Osamu knows Atsumu is still in love with Kita. Atsumu also knows that Osamu has always resented Bokuto just a little for holding Keiji’s heart, just like Osamu know’s Atsumu is stupid enough to have a fling with a teammate. It’s a sibling thing. A twin thing.

So Atsumu knew Bokuto liked him and decided to put Osamu in this situation— fine. That’s fine. Osamu is going to kill him. Then he is going to meddle and give Sakusa a call like he original planned to do. Then his stupid brother can curse his name when he is stuck having a conversation as difficult as this one with both Kita _and_ Sakusa. It’s a twin thing.

But first.

First he needs to fix this. Because from what he has heard, it seems like there is a bit of problem. The problem being that Keiji seems to believe Bokuto is incapable of returning his feelings. That and Bokuto has been pining after Osamu and probably just think Osamu is in love with Keiji. And maybe that look in his eyes means he is ready to do something stupid like walk away, or something self-sabotaging like convincing himself he is the odd one out.

To top it off, now that Osamu is thinking about this— about the three of them, he can’t help but think how it’s going to end. And for that matter, how it’s coming to start. And honestly, when its time to share this story, there is no way Osamu is going to be made out the oblivious idiot that couldn’t realize the amazing future right in front of him.

Osamu is not like Atsumu. He doesn’t love volleyball like Atsumu. He doesn’t have his steel heart. He is a bit of a fool but—

But Osamu does know how to express his love.

He shows it in his cooking. He shows it with the way he shows up to most of Atsumu’s games to cheer for him no matter what. He shows it with the passion he gives everything he creates. He shows it by being considerate. He shows it by listening to Kita, to his parents, to other people who look out for him. He shows it with each phone call he gives Keiji; trusting him with his life, his emotions, his thoughts. He shows it by opening the doors of his house to someone he was so sure he hated.

He is not going to fall short in this.

“Okay.” Osamu states, watching the way both Bokuto and Keiji look at him expectantly as Osamu’s body finally seems to stand straight. Confidence seeping back into him as something finally seems to click in his head, something finally makes sense.

Yeah. When they tell this story, Osamu is going to _brag_.

Because Bokuto and Keiji have no idea how much of a fool in love Osamu is. They might suspect but— naw, he definitely has the upper hand. He claps his hands together. “So we are gonna do this, yeah?” They stare at him with confusion. “It’s gonna be a lil hard at first but I’m sure we can figure it out.” He continues and now they really seem lost. They give each other confused glances before looking back at Osamu who finally has the courage to smile. “Of course we gotta work on communication since this could have really ended badly—

Well start now.” Osamu adds, moving forward to grab Keiji. He holds his shoulders as he manhandles him to stand in front of Bokuto. “Koutarou.” Osamu says, testing out his first name for the first time. Bokuto blinks at him. “Tell Keiji how much ya like him.”

“Thats— that’s. What? That is not necessary—“

Bokuto catches Osamu’s mischievous smile and he must see something promising since his expression brightens and he goes to do just as he is told.

“Keiji.” Bokuto starts and what he says next leaves Keiji a shaking mess.

He goes on about school and friendship and seeing him as a best friend. He mentions something about Keiji’s first confession and Bokuto’s own hesitation because they were young and they had different paths planned ahead. Then he talks about Keiji’s endless support. He talks about their friendship, strong no matter what. Talks about Keiji’s understanding when Bokuto drunkly confessed Tsum-Tsum’s brother was hot.

Bokuto is shameless as he talks and talks. He has no problem giving details Osamu thinks he himself might have not voiced.

Keiji was there for all of Bokuto’s pining. Keiji was there to listen to Bokuto go on and on about Tsum-Tsum’s brother. About how attractive and charming he was. How good his food was. Keiji was always looking out for him. Which is why he took an interest in Osamu. He wanted to get to know him to make sure Osamu couldn’t be capable of harming Bokuto, even though the feelings he had for Osamu seemed to be artificial at first.

Then Bokuto goes on about how he loved that Keiji liked Osamu. Loved that they got along and that’s when he realized he couldn’t do this without Keiji. He liked them both. But Keiji… Keiji wouldn’t believe him.

Bokuto apologizes for getting angry. For acting like Keiji’s words about their distance and career choices and how it was drifting them apart, pushed him to push Keiji away, when in reality Bokuto had been frustrated that Keiji thought himself unlovable. That he could never be like Osamu. He could never offer what Osamu had to offer Bokuto.

Osamu nearly interrupts then and goes on his own rant. But Bokuto doesn't let him. His words are enough either way. “You’re my definition of unfailing love.” Bokuto ends up saying. “I think, hearing that you could have feelings for Myaa-sam opened my eyes to that.” Osamu doesn’t really understand what he means but there are tears in Keiji’s eyes and the smile he wears is unwavering so he thinks of saving that question for later.

Instead he lets them have a little moment in which Bokuto smiles brightly at him and Keiji does nothing but touch his red cheeks, clearly embarrassed.

Then, Osamu takes a deep breath in before making his next move.

After all, he calculated this perfectly. Because now that Keiji is distracted and completely enamoured by Bokuto’s confession, he can easily take a step forward to move between them without any problems. He can catch Bokuto by surprise as he reaches for his shirt and grips it to pull him over so that he can meet Osamu’s lips for a kiss.

Osamu thinks he hears Keiji make a some sort of sound and he wonders if the embarrassed tint on his cheek he wears is getting darker as he watches Osamu completely sink into the kiss. Then, Osamu is moaning when Bokuto deepens the kiss, his arms finally moving to pull Osamu closer as he takes control, and whatever thought of Keiji that circled his mind is gone as Osamu lets Bokuto devour him.

Bokuto engulf his lips. He kisses every inch of his lips with passion. He sucks on Osamu's bottom lip before letting his tongue trace his top lip. Then he guide the dance between their tongues and Osamu sinks deeper into his hold as Bokuto quite literally kisses the life out of him. 

Osamu is breathless and disorientated when they pull a part. His heart beats faster than ever and his lips tingle with the desire for more. In fact, he almost goes for another kiss but he stops when Bokuto straightens out and his hand flies to cover his mouth; his eyes widening as the colour on his face darkens to a much more visible red.

“Mya—Myaa-sam?” His tone is high pitched as he stutters out his name.

Osamu grins with pride. “I really like the sight of your back when yer making me breakfast in the morning.”

Bokuto blinks at him rapidly and Osamu turns away before his own cheeks betray him. “And you.” Osamu sighs, facing Keiji. He extends his hands to hold Keiji’s face like Keiji did the first time they kissed. “What makes ya think kissing someone randomly counts as a confession?” When Osamu’s lips meet Keiji’s, their’ lips are forming identical smirk as Bokuto’s affronted whine is echoing beside them.

Keiji grabs Osamu’s face, and kisses him back just as furiously. This time, Osamu enjoys every second, the lack of the taste of alcohol making this experience much more enjoyable. And then, after letting their mouths explore freely, they finally pull away.

Keiji smiles at him and Osamu grins back before he feels Bokuto’s arms nervously wrap around his stomach, his chin going to rest over Osamu’s shoulder as Keiji seems to turn his gaze towards him.

Osamu doesnt know what type of silent conversation they have. All he knows is that Bokuto eventually tightens his grip around Osamu and Keiji’s face forms the most secretive and warming smile before his eyes narrow and he takes a step back and glares at them.

“As we continue to practice our communication skills, we should now talk about how dangerous it is to play with bleach and other chemicals.” Keiji crosses his arms. “I’m not surprised that someone unreasonable enough to wear other people’s underwear would do something so careless, but I expected more from a professional athlete.”

“Akaashi.” Bokuto whines while Osamu lets his cheek darken at the unimpressed look Keiji gives him. He thinks about murdering his brother one more time before humming in response.

“I’m getting called unreasonable by someone who cut all communications with someone they liked because they liked him back.”

Bokuto laughs, kissing his cheek while they get to enjoy the sight of Keiji’s cheeks darkening once again, his usual stoic expression slowly turning to one of strong affection. Osamu can’t help himself and reaches out; grabbing his arm before he pulls him in so that Bokuto can easily hold them both as they let Keiji hide away his smile in the comfort of their hold.

They still have a lot to talk about, but for now, Osamu lets his mind rest as he enjoys the warmth that surrounds him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?  
> Maybe I should write another part in either Bokuto or Akaashi's perspective... we shall see.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
